Sundries

1973. A fifteen year old rides the bus across town to buy herself a lunch, whatever she might be able to afford, at Our Daily Bread. Eating healthy food might help, because she may be very unwell.  Some friends of hers have been reading, You Are All Sanpaku, by the Japanese proponent of the macrobiotic diet, George Oshawa. The author claims that many westerners will face an early death due to their dietary habits. The western staples of meat, sugar, and dairy being disastrous for health. The signs of being in the state of sanpaku, are indicated by ones eyes. Any whites of the eyes showing below, or heaven forbid above, the irises is a sign that your diet is killing you. She considers the fact that many Asians have distinctive eye shapes, more almond shaped, and that westerners whose eye shapes can run the gamut, may just naturally have the white-of-the-eye problem referred to in the book. It could just be the shape of the skull and genetics, she thinks. In any case, she babysat last night, and can take her dollars to the heathfood restaurant and have at least a bowl of soup. The people watching will be fun, too. College students go there. Maybe there will be someone handsome. Who'll think she's cute...

This isn't quite the beginning of her hypochondria. She'd heard on the news in first grade the warning signs of cancer and had memorized them. There were 6 or 7 signs, one of which was a lump. She'd had many lumps, all of them under bruises, and just as now, she did not think the worst. She suspected that the lumps on her body which had always coincided with bruises were somehow related to the bruises. But she watched them to be sure they faded in a reasonable amount of time, nonetheless, even now that she knew how bruises form. She had a nursing handbook bought from a friend's big sister. The same big sister who'd years ago, sold her all of her 1940's Nancy Drew books for a quarter a piece. 

Her mother's McCall's and Life magazines often had articles about health and sickness.  She memorized so many early symptoms of devastating diseases.  She thought of becoming a doctor, but knew she'd have to really improve in math if she was going to go for that. Diseases were both scary and interesting. But it was hard for her to rein in her imagination once she got going on a disease kick. Three things could help: music, some esthetic endeavor, or a new infatuation. 

With any luck, today would bring one of the 3 into her life. Being sanpaku looked dreadful, and she hadn't even finished the book she'd borrowed. Her friends could better afford a macrobiotic diet, she realized. A babysitting income certainly wouldn't foot that bill, and she didn't even consider asking her mom to stop serving the meals she prepared for her family. Mom was a good cook, too. There were always fresh vegetables in every meal. Never desserts. Sometimes she'd buy ice cream.  It hadn't been that long ago that her mom had made the family start eating whole wheat bread, after she'd read Frances Moore Lappe. Everyone in the family looked sanpaku... but what was a fifteen year old to do? 

~Dorothy Dolores